The term “narcissist” is used to describe someone who is excessively self-involved, lacks empathy, and has an inflated sense of self-importance. An individual with narcissistic tendencies may intentionally provoke arguments and refuse to cooperate. He or she may even use threats or intimidation to upset you. If you are divorcing a narcissist, it’s important to be prepared for these behaviors. Here are five tips for dealing with a narcissist during a divorce.
Divorcing Your Narcissistic Spouse
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) lists the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder. The criteria include things like grandiosity, sense of entitlement, and being unempathetic. Even if your spouse does not meet the clinical definition of narcissistic, even one or two narcissistic traits can make someone a nightmare to divorce.
If your spouse has narcissistic tendencies, consider the following tips:
- Take the high road – Your spouse will probably do anything to get a reaction out of you. The best way to deal with this is to take the high road. Don’t stoop to his or her level by arguing or fighting. This will only give your spouse the satisfaction of knowing that he or she can still get to you.
- Keep communication short and to the point – When you do have to communicate with your spouse, make it brief and to the point. The less you engage with him or her, the better. If your divorce is extremely hostile or there is a history of domestic violence, it may be best to communicate through your perspective attorneys.
- Document everything – If your spouse is being difficult, make sure to document it. This will be helpful if you need to go to court.
- Set boundaries – It’s important to set boundaries with a narcissist. If he or she is constantly calling or texting you, let him or her know that this is not acceptable, and you will only communicate through email or your attorneys.
- Get support – Dealing with a narcissist can be extremely difficult. Make sure to get support from friends or family members. You may also want to consider therapy to help you deal with the stress of the divorce.
- While divorcing a narcissist can be challenging, it is possible to do so without losing your sanity. By following these tips, you can protect yourself both emotionally and legally.