Divorce perhaps carries an unfair share of negative connotations; while many divorces are painful, hostile, and expensive, divorce also frees people to take a path that better suits their needs. Modern divorcing couples are encouraged to have an amicable divorce and avoid the harsher methods of the past. and avoid the harsher methods of the past, using mediation instead of litigation whenever possible. For couples who want to get divorced amicably, here are some tips to help.
Try to Be Emotionally Objective
Usually by the time a couple decides to get divorced, years of pent-up hurt and frustrations can make reasonable negotiation difficult. But if you can manage to take care of your emotional wounds outside of the divorce process, a commitment to objectivity can help you pursue a reasonable compromise that suits you both. This is especially important if you have children, because while it may feel good in the moment to get the better of your spouse, you will likely have to deal with them for many years to come.
Set Your Priorities Early
The nature of a good compromise is that everybody walks away unhappy. If you try to get everything you want out of your divorce decree, you are likely to be frustrated from the very beginning. But if you can pick a few things that are important to you, and challenge yourself to articulate their importance calmly and fairly in the divorce negotiations, you raise your chances of getting what you need.
Stay Away From Social Media
Whether you want to vent about your ex or post a picture with your new partner, most experts agree that social media is a potential landmine for people who are still involved in the divorce process. Although it may be difficult to break the habit of sharing regular details of your life, stay off social media as much as possible until your divorce is finalized.
Encourage Your Children to Be Neutral
Children love their parents, but divorce can make children feel as though they need to take sides. Even without doing so intentionally, parents who talk negatively about each other may make their children feel pressured to do the same. Instead, actively encourage your children to have a great relationship with their other parent.
Consider a Divorce Support Group or Therapist
When you really need to vent about your frustrations with your ex or the divorce process, there are appropriate avenues with like-minded people that can give you the support you need. Whether you seek a divorce therapist or a support group of other divorcees, you may find the entire experience is more tolerable when you can talk openly about it.